Growth Opportunities
Let me start by saying that I used to just cringe when someone would say, “Well, this is an opportunity to learn something and grow” in response to when a frustrating or difficult situation had occurred. I totally get the sentiment and at the same time, the observation always falls a little flat. Clearly my reaction was an emotional not intellectual one! I recognized the value of one of my coach’s favorite observations: “Your biggest mess is your biggest message.”
This brings to mind the process of turning the “mess” into an initiation into the purpose of our lives. We usually think about initiations as a formal ritual into a group or a role. Another way of thinking about an initiation is the entry point or beginning of a different way of thinking or being. By this definition, we all have had many of these experiences.
In the exploration of increasing self-awareness and understanding why we do the things we do and why we think the way we think, we might recognize the initiation process.
At the risk of being too philosophical, we could say that we have likely all had experiences that have shaped us. Some of these experiences can seem, on the surface, to be adverse or even traumatic. They do, however, get us started on what can be a life-long process of doing something useful and meaningful with the experience.
For example, if one of your experiences in early childhood was hearing the constant message that you're not smart enough, you might set out on a path to prove "them" wrong and study hard and do really well in school. This is a useful outcome and it is generally not a good long-term strategy to be driven by this.
Part of the gift of an initiation is recognizing the value. It is likely something that will run through your life as a common theme. In my experience, it is also important to recognize what the underlying initial motivation costs you. Using the above example, it is very different to be driven by a love a learning as opposed to trying to constantly prove yourself.
This month, let's take a look at any themes that seem to be steadily present for you. How have they been helpful? How can they be problematic? The task is to integrate all of it and use the experience in a generative way. Never simple and very rewarding at the same time!
