The Stack: A Love Letter
BodyWhat about you? Do you have a STACK? You know that pile: either physical, digital or mental. The stuff that we aren’t quite getting to and that won’t leave us alone.
I realized a while back that as long as I was still on the planet breathing, my stack was probably never going to completely go away. It has become clear that my job was to change my relationship with the stack. I wasn’t going to be able to work hard enough or long enough to get it all DONE- mostly because I keep adding stuff. HMMM…
So what follows is what I decided to do to shift my anxious energy around all of the incomplete tasks. I decided to write my stack a letter of love and appreciation. So here goes!
Dear Stack,
I used to think that you were something I needed to get rid of; that somehow making you go away was some sort of sign that I was really good at my job, productive and focused. I imagined that somehow other people would be so impressed and envious of me. It felt good, kind of.
You had other ideas. You kept growing and growing. Yes, some things that were a part of you lost their luster and fell away. Mostly, you just kept growing despite all of my effort and diligence. I honestly had to cry “UNCLE”! So, I knew I needed a different relationship with you and that was on me to develop. Here is what I now understand.
I am so grateful for your persistence. It made me reexamine my perceptions on so many topics.
1. My intrinsic worth as a person. I have come to realize that I used being busy, productive and generally “getting s**t done” as my way to prove to myself and the world that not only do I contribute to the world, I actually have value. What I had to learn was that although my doing was valuable and worthwhile, it could not make up for the deep inner need to be valuable and worthwhile. Thank you for setting me on the path to recovering my own personal value.
2. Priorities shift, values do not. I am truly grateful to have the hand-on experience of learning to be mentally flexible and able to shift priorities. That is an incredibly valuable lesson you have taught me. This has come to mean that I do not have to be rigid. It has taught me that if I miss something like a morning journaling session, I have the discipline to get back on it the next day. I don’t worry about never getting back to something like I used to. Thank you for that insight.
3. Living an interesting and continually evolving life. I am someone who has always felt kind of bad about always wanting more. Although I am VERY grateful for what I have, I have always found that I get “there” (wherever THAT is) and I have already thought of something else that would be cool. Apparently, sitting still is not in my DNA! Thank you for continually nudging me along.
4. I truly am a life-long learner. I am genuinely grateful for coming to understand that there is ALWAYS something new to learn. You have made me expand and grow into areas that are fascinating and, many times, a bit scary. I love being curious and you have, in your own way, nurtured that curiosity! Thank you!
Your Friend,
Kathy
